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    THE LONDON ABUSED WOMEN'S CENTRE
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    To read a mind-boggling but true story of spousal/ family/ alcohol abuse Click Here



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     A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generations    
     Author:  admin
     Dated:  Wednesday, September 23 2009 @ 05:04 PM EDT
     Viewed:  6,072 times  
  • Stephen Harper makes a donut run, G&M, S.23

  • Man takes beer bottle in face at King and Richmond

    ALTLONDON has learned that a man was struck in the face with a beer bottle at the corner of King and Richmond streets in beautiful downtown London shortly after 5 pm today (Wed. Sept. 23).

    London Police are investigating. Developing ...


    Our Ivory Tower hospital executives

    MELONVILLE'S $800,000-a-year hospital CEO, Cliff Nordal, shows that he has a rare gift for public relations, noting that with every statement Nordal makes these days to the media about this unfolding contract boondoggle, more and more Londoners call for his and VP Diane Beattie's resignation.

    Keep up the excellent work, Cliff! Next question, please!

  • McGuinty says it's the two hospitals' board of directors' job to handle the contract scandal in Melonville, LFP, S.23

  • Cliff Nordal on the hunt for nasty whistleblower, LFP, S.23


  • IVORY TOWER HOSPITAL EXECUTIVES JUST DON'T GET IT: Cliff Nordal, president and CEO of the London Health Sciences Centre and St. Joseph's Health Care, is paid $800,000 annually to oversee the operation of the two London hospitals. Currently he is embroiled in a boondoggle involving an auditor's report that says Diane Beattie, a hospital VP, awarded a $3.3-million contract to a friend in 2004 without seeking competitive bids as required and without proper authorization, which Nordal called a "honest mistake." Now Nordal has launched an investigation to identify the whistleblower who leaked the report to the media. A growing number of Londoners are demanding that Nordal and Beattie be fired for their lack of due diligence and their unbridled arrogance.
  • Slick Willie Clinton's untold story (on tape), I, S.23


  • Mackenzie Phillips says she had consensual sex with her father, AP, S.23

  • Archaeologists discover ancient bath in Jerusalem, AP, S.23

  • Polygamy charges thrown out of court in B.C., G&M, S.23

  • Marc (Prince of Pot) Emery to be busted on Sept. 28, S911, S.22

  • IN HONOUR OF THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE LONDON ABUSED WOMEN'S CENTRE
    Originally posted on Saturday, October 6, 2007

    Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generations


    DURING THE WINTER OF 1964-65 when I was in grade five, I walked in the side door of our home after school and couldn't believe what I saw.

    Without exaggeration, everything inside the home was totally destroyed: Windows were smashed out, contents of the fridge were hanging like goo from the ceiling, every dinner plate in the kitchen was smashed on the floor, all the upholstered furniture had been ripped apart with a butcher knife, all the walls had been ripped open with a crowbar -- even our goldfish bowl had been tossed against the wall.

    I had no idea where our cocker spaniel, Ginger, was. Maybe outside in the back yard, shivering with fear. (A year or so later, the poor dog had to be "put down" due to constant wet bowel movements, resulting from the ongoing trauma in our home. My older brother and I were devastated. To this very day, it bothers me when I think about it.)

    Everything was smashed, as was my dad

    Simply stated, everything in the home that could be broken -- chairs, dining room table, TV, console stereo, mirrors, end tables, beds, dressers etc. -- were in pieces, strewn about the home. Almost like a tornado had whipped through the house.

    Sadly, only weeks earlier, my parents had spent thousands of dollars redecorating the home, buying new furniture and dinner ware.

    Lying on the couch (the only stick of furniture not smashed to pieces), obviously tired from strenuous exertion, was my wild-eyed father, a disturbed man with a violent temper and a severe alcohol problem. Even the local police were afraid of him, knowing that history had taught them that it took four or five of them to take him down.

    I have no recollection what I did after spotting him that wintry day laying on the couch. Most likely I left and waited outside for my working mother and brother to arrive home.

    'Isn't your sex life very good?'

    For years, he had abused my mother, blackening her eyes on several occasions and generally taking offence at everything real or imagined. When the police were called, they weren't very helpful, even asking my mother questions such as, "What did you do to provoke him? Isn't your sex life very good?"

    The ol' "blame the victim" routine, favoured by fools and other ignorant people.

    This was back in the days when shelters for women were unheard of and an agency such as the London Abused Women's Centre was non-existent.

    I do remember the police putting my mother, my brother and I up in a local hotel for a few days -- the same hotel where my father often drank and regularly got into vicious fist-fights (he'd fight at the drop of a hat, even if you looked at him the wrong way). I can still remember the smell of draft beer wafting up from the tavern into our hotel room, as well as the noise from the beverage room. At really great spot to be hiding from a drunken abuser.

    If memory serves, in those days the spouse had to lay the charges. The one time my mother did have my father charged with assault, it went to trial and my father somehow got off. After the trial, a police officer advised my mother and my grandfather (who offered emotional support to my Mom during the trial) to "get out of town, because Don will be on the warpath now."

    My father worked shift-work as a stationery engineer, looking after heating and cooling plants in factories, so his drinking could start at anytime of the day or night -- usually with a buddy or two.

    Often, we'd go to the local movie house -- even when we had to go to school in the morning -- only sneaking back home after 11 p.m., when we'd be sure that he was passed out in bed. To this day, I'm amazed I don't have stomach ulcers.

    Other times, we slept in the back of my mother's station wagon (summer and winter), hotels and motels or stayed with friends and relatives, to avoid the insane wrath of my father.

    Several times we even slept in an office at my mother's place of employment, secretly clearing out before the other employees arrived for work.

    I'll be home for Christmas


    One Christmas, I remember seeing his drunken, enraged face appear in the window of the back door. I have no idea what our "crime" was. Perhaps he was enraged that we were sober and he was drunk.

    Instantly, we all knew that we were in for some serious trouble.

    Without even putting on coats we scattered out the front door (all of us heading in different directions, meeting up later by accident, downtown). As we fled, we heard a crash behind us as the Christmas turkey (straight from the oven) was fired through the front window and landed in a snowbank, still steaming.

    I have no recollection where we spent that Christmas night. Probably in a downtown hotel, an expense that my working mother could ill afford.

    The Devil 'moves' to Winnipeg

    When my father destroyed the interior of our home and all its furnishings, he decided that he was moving to Winnipeg. He didn't even lift a finger to board up the windows -- we had to do that as we couldn't afford to replace the glass and it was wintertime.

    At hearing the news that he was leaving, my mother, my brother and I were overjoyed. We all thought, "Great, the asshole is finally leaving." We even covertly watched him board the train at the station, to make sure he actually left town.

    A few days later he called from Winnipeg and said he was coming back home.

    Time to get out of here

    That really set the wheels in motion for my mother to finally leave my father and move to London in the summer of 1965, where we stayed with my mother's sister, her husband and their daughter for a month or two until we got our own apartment in south London.

    My mother had landed a job in London and slowly things began looking up.

    Not long afterward, my father showed up in London to create more problems, but the police in London weren't as accommodating as those in his and our smaller hometown.

    In 1973-74, my father enjoyed a year and a half of sobriety while working as a stationery engineer in Paris, Ontario, at the Penman's plant. When off the sauce, my dad was charismatic, creative, very active, an avid reader and extremely likeable. Then he fell off the wagon (again) and wrapped his white Buick around a tree, returning from a table shuffleboard tournament in a small-town tavern.

    In 1980, he moved in with me, in a farmhouse just outside of Lambeth. After a month or so, I was desperate to get rid of him (he was drinking 24 beers-plus a day) and he finally got the message when his money ran out and he sobered up.

    He walked the 16 miles or so into downtown London and a few nights later, in a drunken stupour and looking for a place to sleep in the basement of the old CN station (where he once worked), he fell down a flight of terazzo stairs, landed on his tail bone and was paralyzed from the neck down.

    After a few years of recovery, he was able to walk with a cane; then in 1987, he developed lung cancer from decades of smoking.

    During this period, my mother helped him in every way possible --arranging home care, banking, house-cleaning and doctors, you name it.

    My father finally died in University Hospital on Monday, March 7, 1988.

    To this day, my older brother has never really reconciled with my mother, for personal reasons he's chosen not to discuss. There's been several other strained and broken relationships from the insanity, as well.

    What I am sure of, however, if there had been a better support system in place in those days -- police support, Women's Community House and an agency such as the London Abused Women's Centre -- I'm sure that my mother would have found the strength and wherewithal to leave my father earlier in the abusive relationship.

    25 years of helping abused women and their families

    If memory serves, the London Abused Women's Centre was founded 25 years ago by former NDP MP Marion Boyd at the old courthouse in London in 1982 -- 25 or 30 years too late to help my mother, my brother and I, but in time to help thousands and thousands of other families suffering from the bizarre nonsense that I experienced as a youth.

    Happy Thanksgiving.

    Be thankful if you're in a warm and safe environment, with a roof over your head and food in the fridge.

    As one who's been to the Dark Side of the Moon many years ago, life's comforts are not something to take for granted.




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  • A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generations | 8 comments | Create New Account
    The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
    A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generation
    Authored by: Butch (The Beast) McLarty on Tuesday, June 24 2008 @ 03:24 PM EDT
    Sent to me today by poster "Protestant":

    The victim impact statement, as quoted in the article, "Eternally unforgiven"
    by Jane Sims published in the London Free Press June 24, 2008, is profound.

    "I cry when I remember the way our lives were -- the laughter of children in
    the house, talks at the dinner table about the day's events at school or on the
    playing field, upcoming holidays, birthdays or other family events...Now the
    house is quiet and seemingly empty. I attend children's functions alone and
    holidays, birthdays and the like pass with much grief, stress and little
    enthusiasm..."

    This statement portrays just how precious a healthy family life is.

    So many people are baffled as to why women keep returning to abusive
    husbands. It's because they cherish the memories of the quality of life they
    had before the violence, and for them, the person that represents that life is
    not dead, so they forgive in the hope that they can have another day with the
    love they once knew, and not have to suffer the life long impact of loss. They
    disassociate the violent incidence from the big picture, making excuses,
    blaming themselves, hoping and trying to resurrect a relationship that was
    killed.



    ---
    To advertise on Alt-London contact me at butchmclarty@yahoo.ca. We have reasonable rates designed to fit any advertising budget.
    A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generation
    Authored by: Protestant on Tuesday, September 22 2009 @ 06:13 PM EDT
    I Am the poster "Protestant" and I didn't send you that today butch.
    A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generation
    Authored by: Butch (The Beast) McLarty on Tuesday, September 22 2009 @ 06:22 PM EDT


    You sent it to me on Tuesday, June 24, 2008.

    ---
    To advertise on Alt-London contact me at butchmclarty@yahoo.ca. We have reasonable rates designed to fit any advertising budget.
    A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generation
    Authored by: Protestant on Tuesday, September 22 2009 @ 07:27 PM EDT
    ah, I didn't notice the date... though I do recall writing the last paragraph in your reply.
    The saddest thing about single parenthood...aside from being treated as a second class citizen that isn't even allowed to access the equity in their own home because their income is too low, has been not having anyone to share the milestones and accomplishments of childhood with...

    My youngest childs first complete sentence was "don't touch daddies ba-ba"...that's impact.
    A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generation
    Authored by: Protestant on Wednesday, September 23 2009 @ 07:48 AM EDT
    The poverty of being a divorced single parent is horrible.
    The socio-economic discrimition is sickening.
    For many years my only soure of income was a pt job, mothers allowance and the baby bonus. The mothers allowance and baby bonus wasn't concidered to be "income from earnings" so I was never able to get a mortgage and doled out most of the dole to nere-do-well landlords. The ex's support is guarnisheed and assigned to the Ministry of community and Social Services, so I don't have to fight for milk money for the kids anymore..finally a few years ago I managed to get a high-risk mortgage at a very high interest rate, and my shelter costs went down...but recently I tried to get some secured credit based on the equity, which apparently according to the bank, is substantially more then what I'd asked for and they refused, saying over the phone that I'd been dishonest about reporting my income...I was livid, as I certainly had not...I was straight up front and had even gotten a letter for them from my caseworker...then they sent me an approval by courier, but it was end dated and I didn't receive it until after the deadline, so I complained again, and received another letter saying that I didn't meet their credit/ratio and therefor couldn't, in their estimation, carry the debit load, at about 5%...but they are willing and do offer and even give me without my even asking credit at almost 20%!!! They said you have to have an annual income from earnings of 37,000 to qualify for secured credit...so who will benefit from the equity in my home, the one that I make all the mortgage payments on, the one that I take care of? IT'S SO UNFAIR!!! I've got receipts that prove I've paid shelter allowance, either rent or mortgage plus interest and taxes every single month for 35 years...it seems to me a lower interest rate would be easier,...somebody told me candidly that the reason they do this is because poor people aka welfare bums are perceived to be drug addicts and alcoholics...how the hell could I afford to be a drug addict or alcoholic...give me a fucking break.
    A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generations
    Authored by: Protestant on Wednesday, September 23 2009 @ 08:02 AM EDT
    and furthermore...he's the gd alcoholic and living in a mansion up in snobville, taking advantage of some other starry eyed woman with car insurance, equity and a decent credit rating, while his children are sharing a bedroom over a crawlspace, in a winterized cottage that was connected to mellonvilles LEAD WATER PIPE DELIVERY SERVICE.
    A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generation
    Authored by: Butch (The Beast) McLarty on Wednesday, September 23 2009 @ 06:43 PM EDT

    Ldn's $800-K-a-year hospital CEO, Cliff Nordal, is a natural at public relations,
    with more & more Londoners calling for his resignation.

    ---
    To advertise on Alt-London contact me at butchmclarty@yahoo.ca. We have reasonable rates designed to fit any advertising budget.
    A TRUE STORY: Alcohol and Spousal Abuse often destroys families and relationships for generation
    Authored by: Betty McLarty on Friday, September 25 2009 @ 06:42 PM EDT
    This hospital contract scandal in London underscores the need for more
    accountability from the backscratching clubs called hospital boards and also the
    need for FOI requests to apply to our hospitals.

    Mayor Mike Bradley of Sarnia is absolutely right in this regard.

    ---
    To advertise on Butch McLarty's Alt-London e-mail butchmclarty@yahoo.ca. We have reasonable ad rates designed to fit any advertising budget.